I am reading Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales. I first heard about it via Diane Ragsdale from a speech she made at an arts marketing summit in Australia. Last week when I was waiting for a train in Grand Central I saw the book in at a store and picked it up. When buying the book I actually didn’t actually remember where I heard of the book. But the day after I bought it Ben Cameron mentioned it on Facebook which reminded me of Diane.
I am only half-way through the book but it is resonating with me in many ways. The book is a scientific look at why and how people survive under extreme circumstances. I am looking forward to finishing up the book and letting it sink in. I am very interested to see what thoughts are spurred by it. However today, I read a passage that I can’t get out of my head. I re-read it several times during the day. I even read it out loud to Brian (and I am not the read aloud type of person). It relates significantly to the the post cris-i-tunity that has been a source of momentum behind this blog.
I reread Diane’s speech today, and I am glad I did – it is filled with enough great ideas to write several posts about. Which is probably why the book didn’t stick out in my mind, but when I went back to the post, I found Diane was quoting the same passage I was reading over and over today.
Gonzales writes about how one finds themselves lost:
Being lost, then, is not a location; it is a transformation. It is a failure of the mind. It can happen in the woods or it can happen in life. People know that instinctively. A man leaves a perfectly good family for a woman half his age and makes a mess of it, and people say, he got off the path; he lost his way. If he doesn’t get back on, he’ll lose the self, too. A corporation can do the same thing.
The research suggests five general stages in the process a person goes through when lost. In the first, you deny that you’re disoriented and press on with growing urgency, attempting to make your mental map fit what you see. In the next stage as you realize that you’re genuinely lost, the urgency blossoms into a full-scale survival emergency. Clear thought becomes impossible and action becomes frantic, unproductive, even dangerous. In the third stage (usually following injury or exhaustion), you expend the chemicals of emotion and form a strategy fails for finding some place that matches the mental map. (It is a misguided strategy, for there is no such place now. You are lost.) In the fourth stage, you deteriorate both rationally and emotionally, as the strategy fails to resolve the conflict. In the final stage, as you run out of options and energy you must become resigned to your plight. Like it or not, you must make a new mental map of where you are. You must become Robinson Crusoe or you will die. To survive, you must find yourself. Then it won’t matter where you are.
The stages of getting lost apply to more than just hiking in the woods….
The stages of getting lost resemble the five stages of dying described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the psychologist who wrote On Death and Dying; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The end result is often the same. ‘Once the stage of psychological disintegration is reached, death is often not far away,’ John Leach writes in Survival Psychology. ‘[T]he ability people possess to die gently, and often suddenly, through no organic cause, is a very real one.’
An over simplified summary of the previous chapters – Gonzales explains how we live life through a series decisions and responses - a web of feelings, emotions (physical responses to a stimulus we have learned to respond to), and logic. This is more or less our survival extinct. He goes on to note that accidents aren’t really accidents. They are incidents that were bound to happen. Life is a series of chances and luck – when you take risks the incidents including death are inevitable. The slight environmental shifts will happen and they contribute to the system. And most importantly, by training or attempting safeguards we often make the inevitable happen faster through a false sense of security. Most importantly we live life creating mental maps of our environment and landscapes, this is how we find our way. Now all of this is told in details analysis with several examples of how this plays out in wilderness survival and extreme sporting. But the correlation to all of life’s situations is obvious.
The chapter on getting lost continues, using the story of a fireman who separated from his friend and truly lost in the wilderness fights for survival after spending two days going through the stages of being lost as described above:
Killig pulled himself together. He put on his fishing waders and started walking around to get warm. He made a fire and built a makeshift shelter using his garbage bags. (Both were things he should have done the first day, but better late than never). For the next two days, he staged put and attended to the business of adapting to the environment, keeping the organism in balance, the process called survival. Killip had entered the final stage that separates the quick from the dead: not helpless resignation but a pragmatic acceptance of – and even wonder at – the world in which he found himself. He had at last begun to model and map his real environment instead of the one he wished for. He’d worked out his own salvation. He had discovered the first Rule of Life: Be here now.
Having faced the reality of his situation, having created a mental map of where he was, not where he wanted to be, Killip was now able to function….
One of the toughest steps a survivor has to take is to discard the hope of rescue, just as he discards the old world he left behind and accepts the new one. There is no other way for his brain to settle down. Although the idea seems paradoxical, it is essential.
Gonzales goes on to talk about those that have “the right stuff” to survive. He points out there is no standard for who survives and who dies, but there are factors that affect the outcome and that each culture has its own form of survival rituals. There is simple luck. There is what a survival trainer who Gonzales works with calls “positive mental attitude.” Heightened awareness of the environment and understanding that it is constantly shifting is key. Making mental notes of landmarks along the way is a necessity.
Perhaps you are wondering why I am writing this post. How it relates?
I have had several periods where I felt “lost in the wilderness of life” personally and professionally. I am not ashamed to admit it, because I also know I have survived a lot in life. Without question I am in a significant one right now. Hence the cris-i-tunity. Sadly, many of my friends are in the same whirlwind storm, for that matter a lot of people are trapped out in the wilderness right now. [Happily I note that I did read ahead and in the next chapter Gonzales mentions that once one is a survivor he or she always a survivor and tend to seek situations to help others to survive].
I believe the timing of reading this book is more than happenstance. I think there was a reason that I picked it off the shelf of the bookstore a week ago. Many would argue that I am simply reading my current situation into the book, and I say let the cynics be cynics. Frankly I have no time or energy for the argument. I am trying to focus on surviving. I realized today that I have lived the last few months using an out of date mental map. Deep in my heart, I have known it; I now have words to describe it better; and now I have to find the strength to re-map on a very personal level – where I am, not where I was or where I want to be. I need to figure out where I am in the stages and move forward. I have to take that very tough last step and discard my old world.
Ironically, over the last several months, my avoidance of accepting or seeing the mental map of my personal environment has made me focus on being even more perceptive about the re-mapping of parts of the theatre, arts, and nonprofit landscapes. I have always been intrigued by the small shifts in my professional environment, hypersensitive and aware bordering on obsessive study. In a way I am an eternal explorer of the theater wilderness.
I have seen many organizations on the brink of being lost or that are lost using the definition above. Certainly we can all think of organization’s with the “right stuff” who have done a great job of adapting to their environments. But then there are others that are still trying to make the map work. As we are now seeing clearly these organizations may have been lost for a while. I think Diane Ragsdale summed this up wonderfully:
Many arts organizations appear to be bending the map, working from outdated mental maps of the cultural landscape, outdated conceptions about the value of their organizations to the community, outdated ideas about who lives in their communities, what those individuals value, and what role the arts do or do not play in their lives.
According to what I have read so far in Gonzales’ book – in the wilderness, sticking to the outdated map, conceptions, and ideas lead to death.
But how you might ask can artists, those who are supposed to be most “in-tune” with their environment not able to create new maps. I think we often unfairly mistake an artist’s understanding of their own inner struggle and the ability to frame and express it in universal terms with the idea of higher level of perception about the human condition. I remember talking to a playwright and saying I thought he was brilliant and that his work said so much about life. He laughed kindly and said he wasn’t brilliant, he didn’t really know what his plays meant while writing them, and I was the one placing meaning on them. The is a common story among writers – I have read countless interviews with writers throughout time, denying any planned symbolism or metaphors in their work. For some artists leading organizations I think this problem is two fold. First the aforementioned issue, but also institutions breed a certain amount of ego and bravada – that isn’t an insult just a fact. The same kind of ego that has an expert who is lost in the wilderness not seeing the world around them because their training getting in the way, I think there are some leaders of institutions who can’t see the environment clearly because a certain amount of humility and humbleness are required to admit you don’t know where you are that your expertise is at times useless.
So what exactly should we as leaders do?
I have always been a big proponent of “I don’t know” being a great answer, and truly I don’t know quite yet. A lot of my posts over the last year speak to these issues, it is not like the book or a single incident triggered the thoughts and realizations in this post. Certainly a lot of folks working in institutions, creating art as individual or groups, and out in the blogosphere are all talking about the varying facets of this complex situation (examples of each of the three perspectives can be found by checking out New Play Blog, Parabasis, and Createquity. There are certainly many more on the ever-growing blogroll). I do know I can’t wait to finish reading the book (so don’t expect a post tomorrow!), and I hope to keep the conversation going.
